


Learning to Listen

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [45]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Deckerstar - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Ever since Marcus Pierce strolled into the precinct, Lucifer’s been in a downward spiral.  Now, even Chloe has abandoned him.  His efforts to tell her the truth just drives her off more and more.  He has never lied, but she won’t listen.  How can he make her believe?One shot.Takes place after S3x10 (the fall finale).





	1. Deaf to the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fix to the fall finale, in two parts. I hate seeing so much tension between Lucifer and Chloe and couldn’t rest until I fixed it.
> 
> A huge shout-out to my wonderful friend Navaros, who helped me with the summary. You are so big-hearted and supportive! Thank you so so so much, you awesome person you! <3 <3 <3
> 
> And a great big thank you to my awesome beta, ScooterThyme! You totally rock and you make my work shine!
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Dan Espinoza, Marcus Pierce, Linda Martin and Amenadiel are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

Lucifer Morningstar had never been so worried in all of his very long life.

Chloe was not talking to him, which scared him more than anything.  Granted, he had acted somewhat selfishly with the whole Sinnerman debacle, but she hadn’t even tried to listen to what he had been saying.  The whole threat by the Sinnerman to kill a girl if he wasn't released had been a ruse, a trap.  The murderer had planned it all in order to get alone with Lucifer and have the fallen angel kill him.  Unfortunately, Pierce had come along and conveniently killed the Sinnerman before the Devil could discover what his plan was.

Lucifer cursed.  He had been so close to finding out what was going on!  But when he tried to tell Chloe about the trap, she had been furious with him.  No, furious was too tame a word. He had never seen her so angry -- and as a result she refused to listen to him.  The harsh words she had thrown at him still rang in his ears, sending a stabbing pain into his chest every time he recalled them.

But Lucifer had figured it out -- the detective would have been so proud of him, had she known -- and now he knew the truth about their new lieutenant.  When he tried to call Chloe that evening to tell her about the big revelation, though, she hadn't picked up her phone.

He decided that perhaps she needed the night to cool off, so he left her alone and went to see her in the precinct the next morning.  Her face as dark as a thundercloud, she took one look at him, turned on her heel, and walked away.  When he made to go after her, Dan stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Dude, I wouldn't, if I were you.  The last time Chloe was this mad, she and I ended up separating."

Casting one last desperate look at his partner’s receding figure, Lucifer turned his attention to the man in front of him.  "But Daniel, it's imperative that I speak to her.  I have new information about the Sinnerman case --"

"Trust me, Lucifer, you don't want to go anywhere near her right now.”  Looking the fallen angel up and down with critical eyes, he shook his head.  “Man, you really blew it.”

The Devil clenched his teeth at the man’s attitude.  “You don’t understand --”

“No, I don’t, but that’s neither here nor there.”  Dan sighed, looking at him with what Lucifer could only interpret as pity.  “Look, give her a day or two to cool off.  You’ll be doing yourself a favor if you do.”  With that, he walked away.

Torn, the fallen angel chewed the inside of his cheek.  Everything inside of him screamed to track down his partner and straighten out this whole misunderstanding.  He knew Daniel’s advice was sound, but he had never been one for patience.  He managed to wait all of fifteen minutes before tracking his partner down.  He found her in the records room, pulling a file from one of the cabinets.  Lucifer’s heart sunk -- she still had that scary look on her face.  Swallowing hard, he approached her.

“Detective --”

She slammed the cabinet drawer shut with more force than necessary, then shoved her way past him and out the door.  “Leave me alone, Lucifer.”

Chasing after her, he struggled to catch her eye, to make her stop.  “Please, Detective, if you would just listen --”

Throwing the file down onto her desk, she whirled on him.  “Why? So you can tell me more of your stupid, delusional lies?”

“I don’t lie!”  When she pushed past him, he raced after her.  Why wouldn’t she listen to him?  His mouth dry, he dogged her, hoping that at some point she’d stop.  Before he knew it, he found himself alone with her in an interrogation room.  Taking a deep breath, he struggled to calm his racing heart.  “Please, Detective.  Please.  Just listen to me.”

Her eyes narrowed and her mouth tightened.  After perching on the interrogation table, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.  “Fine.  So talk.”

“Right.”  His stomach flip-flopped and he licked his lips.  Her willingness to listen was a good sign, wasn’t it?  Hope fluttered in his chest.  It had to be.  She’d listen and everything would be all right.   “The Sinnerman wanted to be alone with me.  He wanted me to kill him --”

_ “You.” _  She let out a scathing laugh.  “You must think that I’m an idiot --”

He gaped at her.  “I would never --”

“-- because this is the stupidest story you’ve come up with yet.”

_ No, no, no.... _ Lucifer felt heat rush into his cheeks at her words.  Everything was going wrong. Why wasn’t she listening to him?  “Detective --”

Her eyes glittering like diamonds, her face grew hard and her voice took on a wintry tone.  “So tell me.  What is so special about you that he wanted you to kill him?”

Lucifer chose to ignore the skeptical tone in her voice.  “It must be because I’m the Devil.  I’m not supposed to kill humans --”

“Not this again.”  Chloe rolled her eyes.  “Right. Sure.  Whatever.”

The fallen angel paced in front of her, his movements jerky, before finally stopping and holding his hands out, as if in supplication.  “Why won’t you believe me?  I’m telling the truth!  He and the lieutenant were working together --”

Chloe hopped off the table and glared at him with her arms tight at her sides and her hands balled into fists.  “So you’re saying the lieutenant killed the Sinnerman to save his own skin?”

“Yes!”

Chloe turned away sharply, her mouth twisting as if she had eaten something bitter.  “Wow.  Just wow, Lucifer.  You’ve got some gall, blaming the person who saved your life and got you out of hot water.  This just takes the cake.”  Exhaling sharply, she shook her head, then looked at him with cold, flinty eyes.  “You know what?  I’m sick of this.  I’m sick of your Luciferness, your whole shallow take on things.  Everything revolves around you, doesn’t it?  You just go and do whatever you want, and to hell with everyone else.”

Lucifer’s insides went cold at her words, and his heart faltered before thumping in overdrive.  “You don’t understand --”

Her expression became stony.  “Oh, I understand.  I understand perfectly.  You betrayed me.  I had your back, Lucifer, but you didn’t trust me enough to come to me.  You don’t have any faith in me.”

“But I do --”

She cut him off ruthlessly.  “No, you don’t.  And that’s the plain truth.  If you did, you would have talked to me.”

Lucifer’s stomach dropped to his knees.  “Please, if you would just listen --”

“Why should I?  Mar--Pierce was right.  You’re a loose cannon and I’m better off without you.”  Chloe pushed past him and headed for the door.

A roaring in the fallen angel’s ears throbbed in time with his heart, dulling all sound and making him lightheaded.  He was losing her.  The only person who had ever meant anything to him, and he was  _ losing her. _   Scurrying to block her path, he gave her a sickly smile.  “Surely you don’t mean that --”

“Yes, I do.”  She stopped to glare at him.  “Every time I’ve tried to open myself up to you, to be there for you, you’ve either messed with me or stabbed me in the back.”  Hurt flashed on her face before the cold mask slammed down on it.  “Well, I’m sick of it.  I’m done with you.  I’ve put in a request for a new partner.  You and I are officially done.”

No.   _ No. _  This couldn’t be happening -- he was caught in a dream, a nightmare.  A sharp pain stabbed Lucifer’s chest as he scrambled to block the door.  “Detective, you can’t --”

“I can and I have.”  Her expression was obstinate, immovable.  “Pierce has kindly offered to be my partner until the paperwork goes through.”

“Pierce?!”  Lucifer felt the blood drain from his face.  “But he’s the one who --”

Chloe shoved him out of the way.  “I don’t want to hear it.”

The fallen angel felt his world spiralling out of control.  Why couldn’t he make her listen?  Why couldn’t she  _ see? _  He couldn’t lose her -- he couldn’t!  “Please, will you just listen to me?  Pierce is the one who’s been manipulating the whole situation this entire time! He’s been manipulating all of us!”

“Enough.  We’re done, Lucifer.  Goodbye.”  With that, she strode out the door and slammed it behind her.

His face white, Lucifer reached for a nearby chair in which to sit down, missed it entirely and ended up sprawled on the floor.  His stomach churned, and he swallowed several times to force back the lump in his throat.  His heart shattered in his chest, sending pain radiating through his body, and his eyes burned with tears.

“But... Detective....” he whispered, but there was no one else to hear.

Chloe had left his life.

  
  


 

________________________________________

  
  


 

A week went by... a week filled with alcohol, drugs, and sugar -- lots and lots and lots of sugar.

After trashing his penthouse, Lucifer canceled his appointments with Linda and hid under the covers in bed.  Nothing he did could stop the horrible ache in his heart.  Why had Dad cursed him with feelings?  It would have been far better if he had been one of those omnipotent beings in the comic books -- the ones who had no emotions at all.  If only he could have cut out his heart to stop the ache.

Sugar and alcohol provided Lucifer with the comfort he so desperately desired.  Drugs dulled the pain a little, but then it came right back even stronger, as if punishing him for trying to banish it from his heart.  Carbohydrates seemed to bring better relief.  When he gorged himself on cookies, cake, ice cream, and as much pasta and rice that he could stuff into his angelic body, he fell into a food coma that provided temporary relief from his agony.

But when he woke up, he always found himself alone again.  His loneliness wrapped its arms around him, increasing the torment he found himself in and taunting him with memories of happier times with Chloe -- times he’d never have again.

Over and over, Lucifer replayed the events with the Sinnerman in his mind, trying to figure out what he could have done differently to prevent this outcome.  Maybe if he hadn’t taken the Sinnerman to his hilltop home?  But then he would have never figured out Pierce’s connection.  Was there some way he could have told Chloe about his plans?  No -- she had run off with the lieutenant to save the girl in the reservoir.  There had been no time to tell her then.  Besides, Pierce would have made sure that his connection to the Sinnerman stayed hidden. He had, after all, killed his protege to keep him silent.

No, there was nothing he could have done to prevent this outcome, which made him writhe on his bed in agony.  How could he live without Chloe?  He loved her so much....  He couldn’t imagine not seeing her every day, not enjoying another game night with her and her little spawn, never being near her again.  It was too much to bear.

A voicemail message from Dan was what finally got him out of his apathy.

“Dammit, Lucifer, where have you been?  Chloe’s been hanging out more and more with Pierce.  Are you just going to let your partnership die without a fight?  I never imagined you as a quitter.  Come on, man, Chloe deserves better than that ass for a partner.”

Lucifer stared at the phone long after the message ended.  A quitter?   _ A quitter? _  Dan thought he was a shirker, a defeated loser?  Blood pounded in his veins as he bolted out of bed and kicked the candy wrappers on the floor before he grabbed his clothes.  How dare Dan call him a quitter!  He’d show him!

But just as his indignation caught fire, he faltered, then slowed to a stop.  He had no right to be angry.  He had lost Chloe, had ruined the one good thing that ever had touched his life.  He  _ was _ a loser.

Dropping his clothes onto the floor, he started to crawl back into bed when the image of Pierce flashed in his mind.  The memory of the lieutenant taking credit for the arrest of the Sinnerman, lying to everyone about who he was, and pretending that he didn’t have a connection to that murderer burned in his brain.  The thought of Chloe working with that charlatan infuriated him.

If there was one thing he absolutely hated, it was a  _ liar. _

“Right,” he muttered under his breath as he straightened, his jaw set and his eyes snapping with fury.  He’d be damned if he let Pierce replace him!

  
  


 

________________________________________

  
  


 

It was easy enough to find out where Chloe and Pierce had gone.  Using his powers of persuasion, Lucifer learned from the desk sergeant that they had gone to an apartment high-rise in the Wilshire district to check out a possible suspect.  Thanking the man and promising him sex later, the fallen angel hurried back to his Corvette and gunned the engine.  Flooring the gas pedal, he sped to the scene, weaving in and out of traffic like the Devil that he was.

As he drove across town, he told himself that he wasn’t worried about Chloe -- she could take care of herself very well.  It was Pierce he didn’t trust.  No, not one whit.  He was doing the detective a favor, saving her from that bloody sod.  Once she saw Pierce for who he really was, Chloe would thank him, and then everything would go back to normal.  He had to believe that -- he’d go mad if he didn’t.

When he finally reached his destination, he saw Chloe and Pierce enter the building.  His breath caught in his chest as he looked at his partner.  Even at a distance, she took his breath away.  One week without her had felt like an eternity, and although he was loathe to admit it, he had missed her terribly.

Hopping out of his car, he strode down the asphalt pavement and quickly followed the pair into the building.  For a moment he paused in the lobby, then headed for the elevator.  After a quick glance at the “out of order” sign taped to the metal doors, he changed directions and entered the stairwell.  The sound of Chloe’s and Pierce’s footsteps echoed above him.  Peering up, he could see them several flights above him, and moving further upward.  Taking the stairs two at a time, he followed.

By the time he reached the top floor landing, they had already entered the hallway.  With his muscles tightening in readiness, Lucifer quickly strode across the floor with his long gait.  He wasn’t sure what he was going to say when he saw Chloe, but he’d think of something. His heart stuttered in his chest at the thought of her.

He had only gotten halfway down the hall when the sound of yelling, then gunfire, erupted in the still air.

“Bloody hell --”  His heart in his mouth, the fallen angel hurried to the apartment, reaching the open door just in time to see a large, wounded man push Chloe off the balcony.

His insides frozen in horror, Lucifer saw Chloe’s white face, her wide eyes, her fear, as she went over the handrail.  Her arms windmilled, trying to catch a hold of something -- anything.  Breaking into a run, he stretched out his hand as he reached for his partner, but she was already gone, falling, falling....

Pierce shouted Chloe’s name as he unloaded his clip into the large man, but Lucifer didn’t even hear or care.  In one quick movement, the fallen angel leaped over the railing and executed a perfect swan dive as he unfurled his wings and sped toward Chloe.

His mind became crystal clear and all emotion left him as he concentrated on his partner.  All that mattered was Chloe.  He had to save her --  _ would _ save her.  He hadn’t died and gone to Hell twice just to lose her like this.  Although he couldn’t hear her screaming over the wind roaring past him, he could imagine her terror.  Her arms and legs flailed, creating drag and slowing her fractionally -- just what he needed.  Pulling in his wings to reduce wind resistance, he dive-bombed like a peregrine falcon, picking up speed.  He hadn’t been known as the fastest angel in Heaven for nothing.

In a fraction of a second, he pulled abreast of her.  Wishing he had Amenadiel’s power to slow time, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.  She flinched with surprise at his touch and he felt her gaze upon him, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the ground rushing up to meet them at a terrifying speed.

They were far too close to the ground now for a smooth landing, so Lucifer sped up instead, pulling up at the last minute and banking hard just before they hit the ground.  They shot down a deserted alley as he flared his wings to brake.  He flapped his giant limbs quickly to slow them down even further, then gently touched down onto the pavement.

When he released Chloe, she fell in a heap at his feet.  Had she been shot?  Hurt?  His heart pounding in his chest, he reached for her with trembling hands, looking for any injuries.  He felt her wide eyes staring at him, but he avoided her gaze as his face suddenly grew hot.  It wasn’t exactly the way he had wanted to show her who he was.  As he remembered the quick flight and the feel of the wind rushing past him, he shivered.  Damn it, the thought of using his wings turned his stomach, but they  _ had _ come in handy, he had to admit.  They had allowed him to save Chloe, and that was all that mattered.

Casting a quick glance at her, he saw her expression full of awe.  His heart sunk.  Was she enthralled by his wings?  Biting his lower lip, he furrowed his brow as he eyed her warily.

“Detective, are you all right?”  When she said nothing, merely continued staring at him, he squatted in front of her.  “Detective?”

Her mouth worked, but no sound issued forth.  Her face was white -- too white for Lucifer’s liking.  Taking a hold of her hand, he was shocked to feel how cold it was.  He rubbed her hands between his, trying to spark some warmth in them.  “Please... say something.”

“You... you....”

Her aqua eyes looked far too blue in her pale face.  Would she start screaming if he cupped her pale cheeks with his warm hands to bring some color into them?  He was the Devil, after all -- she had to finally realize that now, right...?  “Yes?”

“You’re an angel,” she said, her voice filled with wonder, reverence.

That was the last thing he had expected her to say.  His head reared back as he shot to his feet.  “What?!”

Chloe pointed to his big feathered limbs. “You’re an angel.”

His mouth dropped open.  “Bloody hell, Detective -- I’m not an angel.  I’m the Devil!”

“But you have angel wings --”

“I am  _ not _ an angel!”  He clenched his teeth as a sudden headache hit him behind his eyes.  Shrugging his shoulders, he furled his wings, then paced in jerky movements.  Finally coming to a halt in front of her, he took a deep breath and spoke with exaggerated patience, barely keeping his frustration in check.  “As I have been trying to tell you since we met, I am the Devil.”

“The Devil?”  Her brows furrowed as she frowned at him.  “The Devil has horns and a tail --”

“Right, well, that’s just a bloody rumor that had somehow gotten started.”  Lucifer rolled his eyes. “The next thing you’ll be saying is that I’m supposed to have a goat’s head.”

“Aren’t you?”

He shot a hard look at his partner, thinking that she was teasing him, but felt his stomach drop as he realized she was serious.  “No!  You know very well that I don’t even like goats!  Nasty creatures, the lot of them.”

She rose unsteadily to her feet.  Lucifer watched carefully, ready to help her should she fall again, but she didn’t.  Instead she straightened, although she still looked far too frail in his opinion.  “So then you must be an angel --”

He wanted to stamp his foot in frustration.  “You’re still not listening to me!” he cried.  “Bloody hell, what will it take for you to just listen to me?”

“I am listening,” she whispered, before her voice grew stronger.  “But you’re not making sense.  If you’re the Devil, why do you have angel’s wings?”

“Because I’m a fallen angel --”

She nodded.  “Then you  _ are _ an angel --”

Threw up his arms.  “I give up!”  Rubbing his forehead, he tried not to laugh hysterically or burst into tears.  The urge to do both simultaneously was overwhelming, but he squeezed his eyes shut and took several deep breaths.  That seemed to help.

“Right.  I can’t do this anymore.  I’ve tried....”  He pursed his lips as his gaze went skyward.  Dad was probably laughing his head off at this very instant.  After exhaling slowly, his gaze swept over Chloe’s tousled hair, her beautiful face, and her stylish clothes, right down to the boots he loved to see her wear. His shattered heart broke into pieces all over again at the sight of her.  “You obviously cannot accept who I am.  I’ve done everything I could to tell you -- show you -- but you still don’t believe me.  Or trust me.”

“Lucifer --”

He didn’t stay to find out what she was about to say.  Although he heard her call out to him again, he ignored her and strode quickly away without a backward glance.  Once he got in his Corvette, he clutched the steering wheel and leaned his forehead against it.  He should have known that all his attempts to get her to listen to him were doomed to fail.  But perhaps this was inevitable.  He was the Devil -- a monster.  He didn’t deserve her, anyway.

He took the long route back to the penthouse, swinging by the Malibu beach where he and Chloe had first kissed, then heading to Pasadena where they had hugged after he’d saved the two students from Doctor Carlisle.  Those days were all gone, now, for he had been replaced by that charlatan, Pierce.  The bittersweet memories washed over him as he remembered all the good times he had shared with the detective.

And if his vision was blurry from tears... well, that was just between him and the sky above.

 

 


	2. Listening at Last

 

 

“Lucifer!”

Chloe called after the tall man as he strode away from her, but he didn’t turn.  And quite frankly, she was a little relieved to have a few moments alone.  Her legs still shook from her tumble over the balcony, as well as from the amazing rescue that Lucifer had performed.  She still couldn’t believe that he was an angel with wings!

No, not an angel.  The Devil.

Rubbing her forehead, she tried to comprehend the sudden revelation of Lucifer’s true identity.  Her partner -- ex-partner -- was a fallen angel.  The Devil.  But he had saved her.  If he was Satan, wouldn’t he have let her die?  And he certainly didn’t act like the Devil she had heard about in books and on television.  Lucifer was more like a teenager than the epitome of evil.  There was no way he could be the Devil.

And yet, he claimed that he was, and he had those wings....

Her head was still spinning from all she had learned when Marcus came jogging up to her.  “Chloe!  My god, are you okay?  I thought for sure you were --”

“I’m okay.”  She gave a little laugh.  “I still can’t believe that I’m alive.”

“How did you survive that fall?”

She looked up sharply at him, her mind reeling.  Surely he had seen Lucifer and his wings?  Or had that all been just an illusion?  Was she actually dead and imagining all of this?  No.  No, it had happened.

Her partner -- ex partner -- was the Devil.

It was just too much to handle. She needed time to pull herself together, before she had a breakdown.  The thought of Lucifer with wings, of him having saved her just now, left her feeling completely undone.  Her heart pounded in her chest and she felt lightheaded, like the world had suddenly turned upside down, leaving her tumbling in its wake.

“Chloe?”

She blinked, and looked up to see Marcus staring down at her with concern in his gaze.  It should have warmed her, and yet it didn’t.  Instead she felt a chill spread throughout her bones, freezing her insides.  It made no sense, and yet, there it was.

“I’m... fine.”  Chloe managed a little laugh, then took a deep breath.  “What happened to our perp?”

“He’s dead.  The backup we requested should be here shortly.”

“Okay.”  Taking a couple of steps on her noodly legs, she was dismayed to find that her insides wouldn’t stop quivering from her sudden brush with death.

“Come here.”  Marcus reached out and pulled her into his strong arms.  “I know you’ve had a scare, but you’re okay now.”

Then why didn’t his arms around her give her any comfort?  They just made her feel uneasy.  Ill, even.  With a shaky step backward, she pulled away from his embrace.  “Uh... when backup comes, would... would you mind catching a ride with them back to the precinct?”

His brows furrowed.  “What’s wrong?”

A high-pitched, nervous laugh burst from her. “Nothing!  I just... need some time alone.”

“Let me drive you home --”

“No!”  The word burst from her before she could stop it.  Lowering her voice, she gave him a smile that she hoped looked confident.  “No, I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Chloe felt Marcus’s eyes on her the entire walk back to her car.  Once she was inside, she gripped the steering wheel and leaned her forehead against it.  The world seemed so surreal, so wrong.  Lucifer was the Devil...?  It was a ridiculous notion, and yet she had seen proof with her own eyes that he was not human.  Shaking her head, she realized that she needed help dealing with her new reality.  Pulling away from the curb, she headed toward Linda Martin’s office.

As she drove, she tried to come to terms with Lucifer’s identity.  How could he be the Devil?  He wasn’t evil, nor did he plot the downfall of mankind.  In fact, he seemed happiest giving everyone whatever they desired.  He was just an eccentric club owner.

And yet, the memory of Lucifer getting shot by Jimmy Barnes and surviving without a scratch came back to her mind.  So did the time when he had been shot by Malcolm Graham.  She had been certain he had died, but he had survived that as well, despite all the blood on his shirt.  He had his desire mojo that he worked on suspects, and super strength.  And then there were those wings....  No, he was definitely not just a man.

Lucifer claimed to be a punisher, but not evil... which went against what she had been taught about the Devil, and yet it made sense in a strange kind of way.  The Devil was in charge of punishing evil souls in Hell, after all.  And he did seem to enjoy catching the bad guys with her.

No, he wasn’t evil.  If he was, he would have never started helping her catch murderers in the first place.  And he wouldn’t have saved her life just now.  But the Devil was the Prince of Lies, wasn’t he?

Relief flowed through her when she finally reached Linda’s office.  She hoped that the therapist could help her cope with everything she had just learned before she went insane.  Hurrying down the hall, she knocked on the door and was relieved when she heard Linda say, “Come in.”

“Linda, thank god you’re in.  I need to talk to... oh.”  Chloe broke off as she saw Amenadiel sitting on the couch next to the therapist in her office.  She hesitated, then started to back out the door.  “I can come back --”

“No, come in, Chloe.”  Linda beckoned her over with a wave of her hand.  “It’s okay.”

Amenadiel stood up.  “I can go --”

Chloe couldn’t stop herself.  She blurted, “You’re an angel, aren’t you?”

The big man froze, then glanced at the therapist before spearing the detective with his intense gaze.  “Lucifer told you?”

“Or rather, you finally believe who he says he is?” Linda asked as she also rose to her feet.

Chloe turned shocked eyes to the other woman.  “You... you know...?”

“That he’s the Devil?  Yes.  But the question is: do you?”

Swallowing hard, Chloe nodded.  “Yeah....  He... he saved my life.”

“Don’t tell me he died again?!”  Amenadiel flung up his arms.  “Why doesn’t he ever take care of himself?!”

“Died...?”  The detective’s brows furrowed.  “What are you talking about?”

The therapist thwacked the burly man in the stomach.  “See what you did?”

“What?”  He looked down at her with a puzzled look on his face.  “What did I do?”

Linda turned away from the angel and smiled at Chloe.  “Just ignore him.  Why don’t you come inside?”

“Okay.”  Chloe narrowed her eyes as she shut the door behind her and faced the two of them.  “I have a feeling there’s a lot you’re both not telling me, and I think I have a right to know.”

Linda sighed as she took a seat in her usual chair, while Amenadiel sunk back down onto the couch.  Straightening the glasses on the bridge of her nose, she asked, “What is it you’d like to know?”

The detective slowly sat down on the edge of the couch, well away from the angel.  After giving him a wary glance, she turned back to the therapist.  “How long have you known that Lucifer is... well, who he says he is?”

“He showed me his face last year.”

“His... face?”  Chloe frowned.  “I don’t understand.”

“His Devil face.”  Linda frowned.  “Oh, that’s right, his Devil face got stolen --”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“When Lucifer Fell, he burned,” Amenadiel said quietly.  “All his flesh was stripped right off of him.  He looks like a slab of meat in a butcher store, only worse, with massive burns, blistering flesh, blood oozing everywhere --”

Dizziness swept through Chloe as the angel continued to catalogue Lucifer’s injuries in more and more graphic detail.  The blood drained from her face as she listened.  She couldn’t even imagine the pain he must have endured, to live through that --

“That’s enough.”  Linda said as she gave the detective a quick glance.  “I think she gets it, Amenadiel.”

As Chloe envisioned the horrible physical state that the angel had described, bile rushed to her throat.  Swallowing thickly, she struggled to keep a dispassionate expression.  She had seen all sorts of horrible things on the job, so she shouldn’t be this affected by what she was hearing, except... this was  _ Lucifer. _  Her partner.  Her friend.

Her brain screamed in disbelief.  “You must be wrong.  He looks fine.  He doesn’t have any injuries, and if he was as badly burned as you say, he wouldn’t look....”  She couldn’t continue.

The burly angel studied her with something akin to pity in his gaze. “It’s a glamour.  It’s not real.  Well... it hadn’t been, until now.  He’s somehow been healed and got his wings back, and he’s convinced that it’s the Sinnerman’s doing.”

“The Sinnerman?”  Chloe’s insides churned at the sound of that man’s name.  “But he’s just this crazy murderer --”

“Lucifer was convinced that the Sinnerman had kidnapped him, gave him back his wings, and also somehow healed his burns,” Amenadiel said patiently.  “It’s been driving him crazy ever since.”

Chloe felt like the world was passing her by at an incredible speed while she waded through molasses.  Nothing they were saying made any sense, and yet it sounded eerily like what Lucifer had been trying to tell her for the past few months.  “I can’t believe this....”

“Lucifer’s been obsessed with him because he felt the Sinnerman was stealing his identity,” Linda said.  “He identifies himself with his Devil face, not his wings.”

The angel shook his head.  “It’s sad.  He’s cut off his wings so many times --”

_ “What?!” _

“It’s true.  He kept cutting them off because they wouldn’t stop growing back.”  Linda looked at Chloe with sadness in her eyes.  “He was mutilating himself for a long time because he didn’t want to be defined by his father, the Sinnerman, or whatever had given back his wings.  He finally decided to pretend they weren’t there.”

“He was self mutilating?!”  Chloe’s stomach dropped to her knees as she slowly took in the new information.  Finally things were becoming clear -- his behavior around the Sinnerman, and the whole kidnapping.  She knew he had been going through some rough times, but she had chalked it up to his usual delusions about being the Devil... except they weren’t delusions.  God, why hadn’t she listened to him?

“And Lucifer went off the deep end when you almost got killed,” Amenadiel added. “You know -- when Lieutenant Pierce saved you, while he had been off galavanting around.  It nearly destroyed him.”  A shadow crossed the angel’s face as he turned away.  “He was -- and still is -- drowning in self loathing.”

Chloe remembered how she had brushed Lucifer off when Marcus had been shot, and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.  She had no idea that he had suffered so badly after that....

“He’s spiraling out of control,” Linda said.  “But we can’t get through to him.  Maybe you can -- now that you know -- because he cares about what you think more than anything else in this world.”

Chloe’s mouth fell open at that.  “No, he doesn’t --”

“He does,” the therapist said.  “He cares for you so much that he refused to show you who he really was, because he was afraid you’d reject him.”

The harsh words she had said to him in the precinct returned to her.  She had rejected him anyway, even without knowing, hadn’t she?   _ Oh god.... _

“He cares for you deeply,” Amenadiel said.

“Loves you, even, although he’d never admit it,” Linda added.

_ Love? _  Impossible.  She snorted and looked away with a bitter smile.  “Yeah.  Sure.  That’s why he ran off to Vegas and came home with a wife.”

Amenadiel’s next comment surprised her.  “He did it to protect you.“

“Protect me?”  A harsh laugh escaped her.  “From what?”

“From himself,” said the angel.

Lucifer had been protecting her?  Chloe’s brow furrowed as she turned the thought over in her brain.  Well, he  _ was _ the Devil -- maybe he didn’t want her to get involved with him, since he was the epitome of evil...?  Only... he wasn’t the epitome of evil, was he?  He was childish, selfish and impulsive, but nothing she saw pointed to the behavior of the Devil as portrayed on television and in books.  He was a good man, deep down inside -- she knew it.  But... this still didn’t make any sense.  If he hadn’t wanted her to get involved with him, he wouldn’t still be around her, would he?  She made a scoffing noise.  “This is ridiculous.  Lucifer doesn’t love me.”

“He does.”  Amenadiel gazed at her steadily.  “He died for you -- twice.”

_ “Died _ for me?  Twice?”  She turned to the angel, her brain refusing to take in what he had just said.  ‘What are you talking about?”

The big man rubbed his bald pate, then ran his hand over his face and finally stroked his goatee. “Maybe you should have a glass of water.”  He picked up the pitcher of water on the coffee table and poured the liquid into a tumbler.

She wanted to scream.  Taking a deep breath, she said through gritted teeth, “I do  _ not _ want a glass of water.  Now stop stalling and  _ tell me.” _

With a sharp glance at her, the big man slowly put the tumbler and the pitcher of water back on the coffee table.  For a long time he studied her, as if sizing her up, before nodding.  “The first time was when he was shot by Malcolm Graham.  He asked Father to protect you, and in return, he’d do whatever Father wanted.  He died and went to Hell to find out what his task was -- but that’s not important.  What  _ is _ important is that Lucifer gave Father carte blanche for your sake.  That’s something he would never do for anyone else.”

Chloe swallowed hard.  She remembered that day in the hangar, when he had been shot -- there had been so much blood....  So he had actually died and gone to Hell?  For her?  She struggled to find her voice.  “And the second time?”

Linda answered.  “That was when you were poisoned.  Doctor Carlisle was the only one with the antidote, and he was in Hell.  There was no way to save you, except....”  Her voice faltered for a moment before she continued.  “He had to die to get the formula to save you.”

“Oh god....”  Chloe thought she was going to pass out.  The world tilted crazily for one instant and she grabbed a hold of the couch’s armrest to steady herself.  Lucifer had died and gone to Hell for her...  _ twice. _  It defied belief.

_ Well... look who’s back. You didn’t die after all.  That makes one of us. _

Lucifer’s words in the hospital when she had awoken after getting the antidote echoed in her head.  She had thought he had been joking, but she now realized that he hadn’t been.  To die and go to Hell for her -- twice -- wasn’t something anyone did lightly.  Blood rushed into Chloe’s cheeks at the thought.  It meant that his feelings ran deep -- very deep.

_ I have never lied to you... and I will never lie to you. _

He had been honest with her from the very beginning.  All his claims about being the Devil, his anger about “Dad,” and his frantic behavior after being kidnapped and dumped in the desert now made sense.  She had taken it all as the ramblings of a delusional man, when all this time he had been telling her nothing but the truth.  She had been punishing him for not having faith in her, when all this time it had been she who had lacked faith in him.

_ I don’t think you care about what anyone thinks! _  Chloe’s own harsh words hit her full force, as well as Lucifer’s upset voice saying,  _ That’s not true.... _  She closed her eyes tightly, but the image of his hurt expression still danced before her eyes.  And then there had been the argument in the precinct....  Nausea suddenly overtook her, and she gulped big breaths of air to keep from vomiting.  Cradling her head in her hands, she struggled for control.  “Oh god, what have I done?”

“Chloe --”

She barely heard Linda say her name.  The roaring in her ears blocked out the sound around her, and her head pounded.  She had to fix this.  Somehow... somehow she would fix this.  If she could just talk to Lucifer, she could explain....  Jumping to her feet, she strode to the door.

“Where are you going?” asked Amenadiel.

As Chloe grasped the doorknob, she turned tortured eyes to the two of them.  “I have to go.  I need to... I have to go.”

Whipping the door open, she sailed through, then practically ran through the building to get to the parking lot.  Once in her car, she gunned the engine and, with a screech of tires, took off for Lucifer’s penthouse.

 

 

________________________________________

  
  


 

The ride to LUX had never taken so long.

Cursing the rush hour traffic, Chloe wove in and out of the lanes, trying to get where she needed to go as fast as she possibly could.  After finally getting cut off by a truck that was slower than a snail, she turned on her lights and siren.  As the cars slowly parted for her, she shot ahead, hurrying to the nightclub.  Would he be there?  She certainly hoped so.  As the memory of his anger and frustration returned to her, she flushed and bit her lower lip.  He had to still be there. If his furniture was covered with sheets again, she would lose her mind.

Screeching to a halt in front of the nightclub, she tossed her keys to the valet and hurried inside.  As she jogged down the stairs, she saw many patrons sitting at the bar, but the nightclubbing crowd hadn’t arrived yet -- it was still a little too early for that.  Scanning the room, she didn’t see her partner anywhere, so she headed for the elevator in the corner.  She pressed the call button repeatedly and practically threw herself inside the car once it arrived.

As she shot up to the penthouse, she took deep breaths and tried to calm her pounding heart.  She had to admit -- a part of her was scared.  He was the Devil, after all.  A supernatural, immortal being.  He had the power to draw out desires from people, and was inhumanly strong.  What if she had pushed him to the end of his rope?  What if he decided to turn on her?

No... Lucifer would not do that.  Nothing she had ever seen in him had ever indicated that he would hurt her.  In fact, he had gone out of his way to protect her, hadn’t he?  He was still Lucifer, the partner who made her a better detective.  The one who always had her back.  The man she cared about very deeply.

Swallowing repeatedly, she told herself that everything would be okay.  It had to be, right?  She could make this right.  After running her hands down the material of her slacks, she straightened her clothes.  When the car stopped and the doors slid open, she stepped out into the quiet room.

Well, there weren’t sheets all over the furniture, which was a good sign, but the state of the penthouse shocked her.  Candy wrappers and empty bags of cool ranch puffs littered the floor, some of the furniture was overturned, dirty dishes rested on top of the piano, and empty bottles of alcohol were strewn everywhere.  What had happened here?

As she glanced around, she feared she was alone, but then a tall, shadowy figure outside on the balcony caught her eye.  Her shoes hardly made any sound as she picked her way through the messy living room and stepped outside.

The night lights of Los Angeles glimmered in the growing darkness as dusk fell.  Taking a deep breath of the cool air, she studied her partner.  He hadn’t turned around, although she was sure he knew that she was there.  As she watched, he lifted a glass full of Scotch and drained it.

“Entering the lion’s den?  Or Devil’s den, in this case.”  He let out a humorless laugh.  “I would have thought you would want to stay as far away from me as you possibly could.”

Chloe took a deep breath and straightened her spine.  “Why should I stay away?”

“Because I’m the Devil!” he roared as he whirled on her, his wings suddenly flaring out behind him.  She jumped as one of his giant limbs knocked over a potted plant, sending it crashing onto the tile.  He glanced at it, then at the wings behind him.  “Bloody hell!  Always popping out at the most inopportune times....”  Rolling his eyes as he grumbled, he shrugged his shoulders and tucked them away.

The situation was so unbelievable that Chloe couldn’t hold back a laugh.  Here she was, confronting the fearsome, all-powerful Devil -- the so-called Prince of Darkness -- and he was burdened with clumsy wings!  It made him seem more human somehow, and suddenly she wasn’t facing the Devil anymore.  He was just... Lucifer.  When he pinned her with his sharp gaze, however, her amusement died in her throat.  His face, all harsh planes and angles, looked furious in the dim lighting.

“I’m glad you find this amusing,” he said silkily, and she gulped.

“I didn’t mean --”

“What brings you here, Detective?  Planning to heap more insults upon my head?”  His eyes narrowed as his lips twisted into a bitter semblance of a smile.  “Well, let me save you the trouble.  I’m a horrible monster -- the very Devil, and now you know it.  I’m everything you ever believed me to be -- I’m selfish, a loose cannon, all of it.”  He threw his glass down onto the balcony, shattering it.  “There!  Now that that’s out of the way, you can leave and be with your precious lieutenant.”  With a jerky movement, he turned his back to her.

Chloe didn’t know what to say.  She knew she had to apologize to him, but didn’t know how to gauge his unpredictable mood.  His behavior reminded her of the time when he had goaded a suspect to shoot him.  Taking a deep breath, she steadied her nerves.  She could do this -- she could.  All she had to do was take it slow and easy.

Tackling the easiest thing first, she said, “He’s not my lieutenant.”

He didn’t turn around.  Instead, he reached in his suit pocket and pulled out his cigarette case.  His hands shook as he fumbled for a cigarette, then jammed it between his lips.  “You could have fooled me.”

“Lucifer....”

Whirling on her, he snapped, “You believe everything he says!  Give the girl a pretty face and she’ll swallow his lies -- hook, line and sinker.  It doesn’t matter that you’ve worked with me for a couple of years now.  It doesn’t matter that you’ve only known that wanker for a few months.  It doesn’t even matter that I’ve never lied to you -- you’d take his word over mine.”  He rubbed his forehead.  “Oh, what’s the point?  It doesn’t matter.  Nothing matters anymore.”

At his defeated tone and his hunched shoulders, pain stabbed Chloe’s chest.  What could she say?  He was so hurt....  God what had she done? She had ended their partnership all because she had refused to listen -- really listen -- to him.  Had she destroyed his faith in her?  As the blood drained from her face at the thought, she clenched her hands together to keep them from trembling.  Her heart pounded out a fierce tattoo as fear swept through her.  What if she couldn’t fix things between them?  What if he never forgave her?

But then she remembered what Amenadiel had said about Lucifer dying for her  _ twice, _ and recalled the rescue today when he had saved her life yet again. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t harbor some genuine feelings for her, right?  She owed it to him to make this right, for he was too important for her to give up on.  No matter how long it took, she’d get her partner back.  She was not going to give up without a fight.

Sparks flew from the flint wheel as Lucifer tried to coax a flame out of his lighter.  When the wick refused to catch fire, he snapped the lighter shut and shoved it into his pocket.  Yanking the cigarette from his mouth, he crumpled it between his fingers, then threw it onto the tiles and ground it underfoot.  He glanced quickly at her, then away again.  “Right.  Why are you here?”

She took a deep breath.  Here went nothing....  “To apologize.”

His head swung around toward her, his eyes narrow and full of suspicion.  “I beg your pardon?”

“I’m sorry for not listening to what you had to say, for not having more faith in you.  I should have trusted you when you kidnapped the Sinnerman.  I didn’t know what was going on, but I should have at least tried to listen.”

Lucifer stared at her for a long moment before he looked away.

When he said nothing, Chloe wrapped her hands around her stomach and tried to stop the quivering feeling inside.  After swallowing several times to push down the lump in her throat, she bit her lower lip.  “Talk to me.  Please.”

A sigh escaped him and he closed his eyes.  “You trust Pierce more than you trust me.  You’d rather be with that manipulative liar than with....”  He broke off and rubbed his forehead.

Her face grew hot at the wealth of hurt in his tone.  “Look, I know this looks bad, but believe me, I  _ do _ trust you.  It’s just that....”  Flinging her arms out, she cried, “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

He gaped at her.  “Bloody hell, you’re blaming  _ me _ for this?!”

“No!  It’s just... just....”  Rubbing the back of her neck, she struggled to find the right words to make him understand.  “You could have told me the truth.”

His gaze fell to the city lights below.  “I tried.”  He laughed harshly.  “I called you from the hospital, right before I was devilnapped.  Remember?  I was heading over to tell you everything, but then...”  He broke off.  When he spoke again, his voice was bitter.  “But when I finally found my way back, you wouldn’t listen.  I even tried to show you my face, but....”

Linda’s words about Lucifer’s Devil face getting stolen suddenly rang in Chloe’s ears.  The memory of him closing the blinds and then struggling with what she had first thought was gas came to mind.  But it hadn’t been gas, had it?  He had been trying to show her who he was, but hadn’t been able to. And what had she done?  She had gotten angry and walked away.

“Lucifer --”

He held up his hands in front of him defensively.  “Right.  I know -- I hesitated for a while.  I didn’t want you to think me a monster... but you think that anyway, don’t you?”  He laughed long and hard, but she caught the glimmer of tears in his eyes.  “Untrustworthy, delusional, a liar, a loose cannon....”  He rubbed his eyes, then pinched the bridge of his nose as his voice fell to a whisper.  “Worse than a monster, really.”

At the pain radiating from him, she instinctively reached out and touched his arm, but he shifted away from her.  It was a small movement, but to Chloe it felt like a slap in the face.  He was hurting -- no,  _ she _ had hurt him, and very badly at that.  Had she ruined everything?  Tears suddenly burned in her eyes but she blinked them back and straightened her spine.  This was a battle for her partner, for  _ Lucifer, _ and she didn’t intend to give in without a fight.  “I don’t believe that.”

“You should.”  Lucifer smiled, but it looked more like a grimace.  His eyes, usually bright and shining with mischief, had become dull and lifeless, while his voice grew flat.  “It’s what I am.  A monster.  The Devil.  You’re wise to run away as fast as you can.”

“No.”  Reaching out, she turned him to face her, despite the flinch she felt under her hands.  “I’m not going to run.  I’m not afraid of you, and do you know why?”  When he kept his face averted and said nothing, she gave him a little shake.  “Listen to me, Lucifer.  It’s because you’re a good man.”

He snorted.  “You’re obviously suffering from a mental breakdown after this afternoon --”

“No.”  Blowing a stray lock of hair out of her face, she glared at him.  “Now who’s not listening?”

He closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest.

She softened her tone.  “You’re a good man, Lucifer, and now that I know the truth, I’m not going to run.  You’ve never lied to me in all this time.  We’re  _ partners. _  I should have trusted you... listened to you -- but I didn’t.  For that, I’m sorry.  But now that I know, I will never doubt you again.  And I’ll listen, I promise. Just... come back.  Be my partner.  Please?”

Lucifer said nothing as his mouth twisted.  When he finally spoke, his quiet voice was filled with resentment.  “You’re the one who requested a new partner.”

Swallowing hard, she nodded.  “Yes. Yes I did, but I’ll fix that.”

He looked up at her, his eyes piercing.  “Are you sure you wouldn’t want to be partners with your perfect lieutenant?”

Would she?  Thinking hard, she realized that she wouldn’t.  Marcus was far from perfect, with his passive-aggressive streak that bordered on cruel at times.  No, she wanted her kind, trustworthy, impulsive partner back.  Holding Lucifer’s eyes with her steady gaze, she nodded.  “I’m sure.”

“You say that now --”

“And I’ll keep saying it.  I want you as my partner.   _ You. _  You’re the one who makes me a better detective -- not him.”

For a long moment he stared at her, before the tension finally left his body.  Squeezing his eyes shut, he said, “I know you find this hard to believe, but please trust me, Detective.  Pierce is not who he says he is.  He’s been pulling all of our strings since he’s arrived.”

“I trust you.”  Chloe reached out and touched his arm.  “If you say he’s not who he says he is, that he’s been manipulating us all along and can’t be trusted, then I believe you.  Trust is important, and the only one who’s never lied to me is you.”  She gave his arm a little shake.  “You’re the one I want as a partner.  Please... come back?”

It felt like an eternity before he finally nodded.  “Very well, Detective. If you’re sure --”

“I’m sure.”

Uncertainty flickered across his face as he bit his lower lip.  “But I’m the Devil --”

“I know.”  She gazed at him and smiled tenderly. “And I am not afraid.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment.  When he opened them, they shone brightly with unshed tears, and a smile finally touched his lips.  “I do believe you’re serious.”

“You know I am.”  Before he could move away, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a warm hug.  She felt him flinch in her arms,  but she didn’t care.  She had hurt him terribly, but she swore that would never happen again. She’d do everything in her power to make it up to him... starting from now.  “Thank you for saving me today... and for dying for me twice.”

She felt him jump at her words.  His eyes widened with surprise as he looked at her.  “Detective...?”

“Amenadiel and Linda told me what you did for me.  Thank you.”  She tugged him down and brushed a light kiss on his cheek.

Without warning, his wings suddenly popped out again, flaring wide and knocking over yet another potted plant.

Lucifer immediately straightened and sent a baleful stare over his shoulder at his big limbs.  “Bloody hell!  Clumsy things just can’t stay put...”  A slight breeze ruffled the feathers, making it appear as if his wings were laughing at him, before he tucked them away.

Chloe burst out laughing.  The fallen angel blinked at her, startled, before his face softened and a smile touched his lips.  When she was able to control her giggles, she reached up and caressed the side of his face.  Under her touch, his cheeks grew red.  He glanced down at the ground, then back at her, biting his lower lip and looking at her with a tender gaze.  His shy, hopeful expression warmed her heart and she hugged him again.

When she finally felt his arms wrap around her, holding her close, Chloe’s insides nearly burst with happiness.  Letting out a huge breath, she finally felt the tension ease from her body.  Everything was going to be okay.  Tightening her hold on him, she smiled as she blinked back tears.  Even though there was a lot that they had yet to deal with, they would face it together -- and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 


End file.
